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babyferaligator:

*steals ur girl* *mom finds out and makes me return her and apologize*

“why” “because i said so” good one mom you should be a lawyer

unclefather:

dancing in the mirror
and shitting in the shower
la da dee la da da la da da

encephalopathy:

urban dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions

6ood:

My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow

floweranger:

do you ever see your face from a different angle and have a mental breakdown

dutchster:

when i’m a pinky toe and i see the corner of a piece of furniture

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